I was up at the hospital visiting my dad - 6th back operation.
While outside on my cell phone, this is what I experienced...
My conversation with a homeless lady....who was obviously on crack.
Crack lady: Hey, are you here to see someone?
Me: yep, my dad
Crack lady: Oh, well I like your boots. They remind me of the boots Julia Roberts wore on pretty woman. I would buy a pair but I ain't paying f****** $500 for boots.
Me: Well, mine were $20
Crack Lady: Straight up. I shop at Shopko, walmart, and kmart. Oh, and I used to live in LA. I was a crackhead but I am good now.
Me: Yep. It's nice to get a good deal. Glad you are off crack now.
Crack lady: Are your teeth real?
Me: yep
Crack lady: You must have had braces. Mine are rotted out from all the crack I did.
Me: Ya, drugs aren't cool
Crack Lady: Man, back in the day I could get a rock (apparently that is a crack term) for $5.
Me: Hmmmm. Not sure what the cost of drugs are but I am on the phone and am headed back in to see my dad.
Crack lady: I sure wish I had some money. My boyfriend is in jail for assault. I am so pissed, we had a room for the night. We could have slept, watched tv, and F****. Now, I have to go to the homeless shelter downtown where they are all B**** and act like they are better than me.
Me: That sucks. Peace!
No joke, this just barely happened up at the University of Utah hospital.
Just a reminder to everyone......DRUGS ARE NOT COOL!!!!
Monday, September 30, 2013
Friday, August 23, 2013
Disneyland Vacation - My Observations while at Disneyland with my kids
Day 1 of Disneyland Vacation:
Learning about myself ....while on my Disneyland vacation.......
You know you have lowered your standards when you take your kids to
Disneyland and.....
1. You buy a fanny pack, feel like a dork wearing it, then kind of start
liking it by the 2nd day.
It is kind of like crocs. You know
you shouldn't like it but secretly you still kind of wish it was cool.
2. You eat carmel apples and churros
your entire vacation but somehow rationalize it....."Hey, at least I am
not the person that has to ride a jazzy yet."
3. You beg your kids to go on "It's a small world" ride because
it has air conditioning.
The sad part is, I have done all 3 of the above during this vacation.
And, I am not embarrassed to say.....I have my fanny pack ready for
tomorrow. I need to leave early to make sure I get in the churro line and get a
few small world rides in (I now know the song in 3 languages).
Day
2 of Disneyland Vacation:
Disneyland update...
These are things I
had to question while at Disneyland today:
1. How do people
afford Disneyland tickets yet can't afford a brush or deodorant?
2. Why come to
Disneyland if you ride a jazzy and can't go on rides? I understand if you have
grandkids, but I saw couples that just went by themselves. Why not just go to a
movie or something?
3. The lady that
had a stroller with no kids in it, yet had two dozen Krispy Kreme donuts
strapped in. I am sorry....but that is weird. I love donuts too but 2 dozen? In
a stroller?
4. Why do couples
with no kids buy Mickey Mouse and Mini Mouse ears to wear around Disneyland? I
don't even let my kids wear that kind of stuff (then again, I have no room to
talk as I have been sporting my fanny pack).
5. Why do adults
hog the line to get pictures taken with the Disney Characters? I understand we
all want to see Mini but seriously? To the lady in the Mini Mouse ears who took
10 minutes worth of pictures and is over the age of 40. That is not normal. My
kids (6 and 7) and the other 100 kids in line even thought you were weird. And,
WHY do you need to get Donald Ducks signature? HE IS NOT REAL.
6. To the guy with
the short shorts who has hung out by the hotel for hours at a time, pretending
to have a cell phone and pretending to have a conversation on your fake phone.
What is that all about? How do you get to that point? I have hit some low
points in my life, but nothing a king sized candy bar couldn't solve. Why in
the world would you choose Disneyland to be homeless? People here have already
spent their money on tickets and are in bad moods from waiting in lines all
day. You are better off to go to a nice tropical spot with couples who don't
have kids and will actually give you their money.
7. How can those
Disney characters wear those hot costumes in this heat? I was tempted to wear a
sports bra and let my stretch marks hang out I was so hot (my husband talked me
out of it....thankfully). The only way I could wear a hot Disney costume is if
it helped me lose weight. And, if this is in fact what it does.....we should
market it for a new Disney Diet Plan.
8. Lastly, to the
couple who got married at Disneyland and wore a tux and veil on all the rides.
That is messed up!!! Love Disneyland, Enjoy Disneyland, but……you don’t get
married there.
Well, I am off to
go see the Disney Parade. I am sure I will have a post about this when I get
back.
Day
3 of Disneyland Vacation:
Last Disneyland update/advice.
This is for all
the Disneyland moms I saw at the parade........
Just because you can squeeze (and I mean SQUEEZE) into
short shorts and a halter top doesn't mean you should actually wear it. And, if
you are over the age of 30 and have children....wear a bra in public.
I would love to
wear this type of clothing too, but we need to know our limitations.
Muffin top = No
halter top
Legs that rub
together when walking= No Short Shorts
After Birthing
Children= wear a bra....preferably one with underwire
I am not ripping on others, I have to follow these rules
too. I have realized with age that the only way I can stay cool in the hot
weather is to pour bottled water on myself. Halter tops and short shorts are
not the answer for me anymore. Be considerate of others and buy a water bottle.
Monday, August 12, 2013
Friday, August 9, 2013
Winsday, Wednesday. Silly ideas for making work fun.
Click on link to watch clip:
http://youtu.be/CLfz_OSQWF4
This is a great way to have fun at work. Every Wednesday we would have prizes (inexpensive prizes) for people in our department to win. It was a great way to break up the day. And, who doesn't love to win things on Wednesday? :)
As you can see from the clip above and picture below, we only give away classy items :)
Thursday, August 8, 2013
Perfect Redneck Cake - Even without using Hostess products
Okay, so this cake was hard to make as I had to use the Hostess knockoff items. But, it turned out pretty nice. All items bought from the gas station, lots of preservatives, and unhealthy which = PERFECTION for a Redneck Cake.
Eat your heart out Paula Deen. You got some competition girl :)
Eat your heart out Paula Deen. You got some competition girl :)
Friday, July 19, 2013
Contest Rules for Free Tickets to See "One Direction"
We were giving away 2 free "One Direction" tickets at work. My friend and I were asked to make a video explaining the rules of the contest. The video is based on a mom who LOVES "One Direction" but tries to act like she wants the tickets for her kids. They didn't end up using the video but personally I think it rocked :)
Link to Clip:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=89sBFLb8LcQ
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=89sBFLb8LcQ
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