Monday, May 19, 2008

I'm pretty sure I got ripped off AND there is something wrong with my body.

Okay, so my sister calls me and tells me about this weight loss pill that is out on the market. Of course I want to hear about it because all us women out there want to lose that last 10 pounds. Anyway, she tells me it's called Alli and that she will pick me up a bottle. She brings the pills over to my house and asks for $50 ($53.26 to be exact). I laughed and told her to stop kidding and tell me the real price and then I demanded to see the receipt. Once, I got over the fact that I was spending that much money on a pill I knew nothing about, I started to read about it.
The pill box said it had 90 capsules in it, so I figured it would last for 90 days. Upon closer inspection of the directions, it says you have to take a pill for each meal. What the heck? This $53.26 is only for a month of pills? It better darn well make me drop 53 pounds the first month if that's how much I paid for this stuff.
Then, in small print it says that the typical results are 5-10lbs in 6 months. Are you kidding? I know people who have lost 5 pounds while laying on the couch all day. I go up and down 5-10 pounds in a week so this 5-10lbs in 6 months is NOT impressing me.
I ask my sister for a refund and she refuses because I have already opened my package of pills.
I tell her whatever and keep reading about this pill.
Well, the side effects (written in microscopic writing) say this. I swear this is a direct quote from the pamphlet:

"Side effects may include:
* Gas with oily spotting
* Loose Stools
* More frequent stools that may be hard to control"

What in theeeeeee world??????? This is a pill anyone can buy? GAS WITH OILY SPOTTING? STOOLS THAT ARE HARD TO CONTROL? Why would I pay for this?
I am on the floor laughing so hard that I almost did have a stool that was hard to control.
The Alli pill apparently absorbs all the fat a person eats and they just poop it out -- and apparently they poo out a tar like substance.
Just for the sake of wanting to see if this is real, I tried the pill. I took my 3 the first day and 3 the second day and nothing. I didn't even go poo in two days more or less have a loose oily hard to control stool. Is there something wrong with my body? I have looked online and have only heard horror stories about his pill, but it stays on the market. This means there are some Alli lovers out there. And, I saw it on ebay and all of the Alli pills have bids. So, what gives? Why am I able to basically binge on this stuff and nothing happens? I am at the end of my 3rd day taking it and have given up. If anyone knows someone who wants a partly used box of Alli -- let me know.

1 comment:

  1. Doll. I think you embellished the story a bit, but I still love you.